A third person in a relationship changes everything, from food preferences, who cooks when and what, to use of a bathroom, to who does what and to whom in bed, is sex going to be with three people, with two If two, which two
Earlier I wrote, “We are still together, older now. We live publicly as brother and sister, we rarely see anyone other than our parents. We never had children.” We do live publicly as brother and sister, the rest is true to a certain extent. We obviously see Jayne, she is now part of our lives and we of her’s. Getting to that point was difficult, fraught with difficulty even, and I’m telling you now only because we are wearied by the necessity for secrecy. Confessing my incestuous relationship with David, if from the cover of anonymity, lifted a huge weight from my shoulders. The details of the relationship that now includes the three of us is the final step in our acceptance of us as we see ourselves. Not make sense It does for us.
All three of us have extremely sensitive anuses, it’s something that we’ve discovered since Jayne moved in. David uses his cock and his fingers, Jayne and I use fingers and dildoes. I have never had anything other than a finger in there. It’s added another dimension to our relationships. Jayne wanted David to take my anal virginity while she watched.
A third person in a relationship changes everything, from food preferences, who cooks when and what, to use of a bathroom, to who does what and to whom in bed, is sex going to be with three people, with two If two, which two If two will the third corner of the triangle feel excluded It took some working out, patient, careful negotiation. It’s likely that anyone less patient and sensitive to the issues and the dynamic of our home than Jayne would have left in frustration very quickly. I was the difficult one of the three, the problem. David and Jayne knew of my fear of change and the anxiety it caused me and her willingness to wait, to be patient, allowed me to gradually acknowledge and accept the changes that were necessary. After a year or so most of the wrinkles in our relationship were ironed out. Loving her helped, as did my realisation that her gentleness and patience were an indication of her love for each of us. It took a while for me to realise that Jayne didn’t want to lose us and that she saw her future with us. It was the last of the many pieces of the jigsaw clicking into place. Our life together had assumed its new shape.
There were things we did together, others that we did not. Jayne moved into our home officially where work was concerned because we offered her the use of a room when her lease was up. She had her own bathroom, part of her bedroom became her home office. David turned a linen cupboard into a home office for me. We bought a super king bed, some nights we slept together, others I shared her bed, very occasionally David would spend the night with her. David suggested that we should make our own version of “Raise the Red Lantern” so then we would know who would be where, Jayne suggested that we would need three different coloured lanterns and that it could get very complicated.
She place me carefully on my knees, put my head on a pillow, moved my legs apart and gently moved me back so that my knees were against my breasts. Her fingers slid into my anus, first one then two. She did the things she knew I liked, a slow spiralling sort of cork-screwing motion with one hand, the other between my lips, barely touching my clit. Tell us when you are close, not too close. When David is fully in you, you can come.
“When David is fully in you, you can come.”…. “….you can cum.” This was a stunning revelation and I understood immediately what the attraction of subbing was. I’d always assumed that it wasn’t a choice, that people were hardwired, that it was inevitable. This gave me the option of choosing total submission, to totally abdicate personal responsibility, to become objectified to the extent that I existed only to give another pleasure, a vessel. Frightening and exciting. I had crossed into a new world of possibility that I had no idea existed. Of course I new David was a submissive, I’m certain he was hardwired, Jayne was a domme and says that she always had been, so she was hardwired. I was bisexual, a domme AND a sub. All this flashed through my mind as her fingers worked on me, bringing me closer to orgasm. Don’t fight it, just go with it, it’s been there all along, you just didn’t see it for what it was. Jayne had known all along and had waited for me to finally recognise my need to submit.
She twisted her fingers in my butt, pushing in and pulling out faster, gauging the levels of my arousal, her other hand rolling and pinching my clit. All I could say was, soon, I’m close. I felt David shift between my legs and put the head of his cock against my opening. Don’t go in until I tell you, go slowly. He didn’t say anything. Really close. I felt him penetrating me. Her fingers were in my vagina now, deep, probably four, I was past detail. He pushed in slowly, I stretched around him, I was relieved that there was no pain. He pushed harder, the whole head was in and I muttered, cumming very soon. He was holding my hips. Now fuck her and when she cums fuck her hard and fast. Cumming. He pushed his penis into me, his hips smacking my bottom as he drove in. Cum in her. Her fingers propelled me over the edge. I don’t remember anything else until Jayne kissed me, both of us lying flat, David watching me with concern in his eyes. I think you blacked out. I couldn’t speak. Jayne looked at me with a slight smile, good I tried to speak, only managing a nod. You really lost it there, did you have any idea it might be like that None, none at all. She looked at me, evaluating me. This is just the beginning.
A week or so later she gave me a collar, midnight-blue velvet, a little less than half an inch wide. a small buckle with a single small diamond embedded in it. When you want to be totally mine you put this on, the buckle at the back of your neck. While ever you wear it you are mine to do with whatever I wish, how, when and where ever I wish.
I held it and thought about this… how, when and where ever…open ended, no limits, enormous possibilities. Also far from what I was used to. I was silent. We looked at each other. You put it on and take it off, you control the action. I will never do anything that is beyond your limits, give you my word. Anything Mhm, anything. Pain Only as much as you want.
I looked at David. Did you know about this He shook his head. What do you think He shrugged, it’s really up to you. I put it around my neck, feeling the soft material against my skin, what it implied was quite separate. It feels good. What it’ll give you is way better. Can I put it on when I choose, like the three of us are into stuff and I want more She nodded. Have you given anyone else one of these No. I only want this stuff when we are all together. OK. And You won’t ask me to put it on Never, you have my word. When I have it on can I ask for stuff No, that’s for me to decide. And if I have it on and we’re into stuff and then I take it off, then you stop Yes. I’m up for it. David smiled his quiet, slow smile, I had no idea, thought I was the only one into it here. You were until last weekend. Are you going to take it off now What do you think She shook her head. One thing, when I have it on can I do stuff with David Yep, but he has to do it to you, you can’t ask him, has to come from him and then you just let him do what ever he wants. Agree Yes. One thing…I don’t want any of that fakery of the porn “mistress” stuff, no black leather and no five inch heels, no verbal abuse or debasement. There won’t be, it’ll just be as we are, with you choosing to change direction. I lay back on the bed and opened my legs.
Anything new is a learning process, understanding is rarely either total or instant, well, for me it isn’t, I ease into things, consider them from various angles, weigh things up, and slowly a new, altered position emerges, one that I feel safe with, that I’m comfortable with. Initially I felt safety mixed with curiosity and caution and I had to overcome that caution, my reluctance, until I was ready to occupy this new space. It brought me a sense of release, of peace that had eluded me, notwithstanding the intensity, even violence, of my orgasms. Many of our emotions, love, fear, happiness, are best understood in their absence, I hadn’t realised that a sense of peace, of tranquillity, was missing in my life until I experienced it a few weeks into my new persona.
When David and I were alone we talked about this shift. As he had said, he didn’t have any idea that this capacity for total submission was waiting in me to be discovered. I had worried that this might alter our relationship. He said that, if anything, it deepened it. He was curious about whether this changed me fundamentally, were things different at work Did I view my place in the world differently No, none of that had changed, what had changed was the deep insecurity that had pervaded my life since I was about 15, the constant fear of being outed as incestuous, a pervert, an outsider to be pilloried, jailed, hounded. He was surprised by this, most people would see Jayne coming into our close-circle life as bringing with her a potential threat of destabilisation and all the things we were afraid of.
She took me to a sex shop to help choose a strap-on. I didn’t want black, didn’t want a huge, grotesque, thickly veined parody of a huge Utamaro wood-cut penis. What you want is one like David’s, that what we’ll get. You can use it on him. I thought about that for a long while.
Our sex became multi-facetted, complex, it was good before, it was much better after things settled down. Sometimes I didn’t put the collar on at all. Sometimes it went on before we began anything, other times on briefly then off again. The paradox of being able to choose when to move into and out of submission was very attractive, I had always assumed that submission was permanent, not negotiable.
I was handcuffed in uncomfortable positions, spread-eagled, folded into foetal positions, David or Jayne in my asshole or vagina or mouth, teased, edged, controlled, manipulated. My clitoris became astonishingly sensitive, my asshole was sensitised and I began to have regular anal orgasms that were quite different from clitoral or vaginal ones.
I would put the collar on and Jayne then folded me into whatever shape she desired for her pleasure, David would rim and tongue fuck my hole and, while he held my butt cheeks open, she would penetrate me with her rubber cock, first slowly, then, as I my arousal mounted, more deeply, more quickly. David would fuck my vagina, the two of them moving at the same rhythm, easing off to stop me cumming, to keep me on the edge, often for many minutes. I knew that I was going to be allowed to cum soon when Jayne would tell David to gag me with my panties. When he stuffed them into my mouth they would fuck me harder and faster until I lost control, often peeing, it wasn’t squirt, as I exploded into orgasm. It didn’t stop there. Then David would take the gag out and fuck my mouth, holding my lips shut so that none of his cum spilled. For Jayne her end came after she had fucked my mouth, vagina and asshole, then she would sit above me and masturbate on my face.
I worried that I could get into a downward spiral that would take me through submission and into dangerous territory where the need for greater and more intense pleasure might push me beyond the pleasures we had given each other. I talked about this with them, Jayne said, Well, it’s you who decides when you put your collar on, no-one else, it’s really up to you. David was disturbed and later quietly angry about what had become a fundamental change in our relationship, he said to me when we were alone that it frightened him, that he wasn’t enjoying what was happening. He liked it better, what we had before Jayne arrived. After that conversation I didn’t put the collar on much. Things had changed, Jayne finally said that she preferred it as it was pre-collar, that she regretted giving it to me. But when something happens to change something as fundamentally as the collar did, you can’t go back and re-write the script. It was a waiting game, none of us would make a move, our sex became infrequent and cautious, the toys were put away and Jayne almost always slept in her room. We knew that it was over, no-one would make the first move.
In end she packed up her stuff and moved out. As she left she kissed us both and said very quietly, there is no reason for anyone to know anything about this. We were sad but relieved our home was quiet again, ordered, as it had been for so long. She gave notice at work and then she just disappeared, I don’t know where she is, I assume that she is still in the IT world somewhere and if I looked hard enough I’d find her. I didn’t want to know where she was. The collar is in my underwear drawer. The toys stay in their box under the bed in the spare room, the only one we share is a small anal vibrator.
David and I are still happily together, the interlude with Jayne now seems remote and verges on the surreal. It’s not something that we will do again. Now and then I see a slender woman with small breasts and wonder what she tastes like.