Way back, years ago when maybe ten people read the stories my site, I did a blog entry titled “Dear teens.” It was a letter to persons under the age of 18 who were accessing AllIndianSexStories and reading, among others, my stories. Considering events since then, I suspect it is still as valid today as it was then. And, since more people read my stories these days than in the good old days, I thought I’d dust it off, spruce it up, and put it out there for today’s group of people who shouldn’t be reading it.
Except you should read it, because it’s geared to you, the person under age 18 who is reading here in spite of the fact that everybody knows that this is clearly an adult site. But in this case, it’s OK for you to read, because I’m going to tell you how to have a great sex life. So read on.
By the way: No adults allowed! This is only for the teens and tweens group!
So for you tender youth … just read it, OK? No response is needed. In fact, I don’t want you to write to me at all. The Govt. takes a dim view of porn authors who try to establish friendships with underage persons, and to the Police, a series of emails between you and me is evidence that I’m trying to establish a friendship, regardless of what’s actually in those emails.
Every once in a while, I take a break from writing dirty stories to go do something worthwhile. I got back from a break like that one time and found an email in my inbox from a woman who, totally by accident, discovered that her teenage daughter had a whole slew of my stories saved on her computer. She expressed some concern that her daughter seemed to be interested in young girls who were impregnated by older men.
I can understand that – the mother’s concern, I mean. Not only that, I can empathize with her. Getting knocked up by a geezer when you’re only 18 isn’t really what it’s cracked up to be in dirty stories on the internet. I know this because I have known girls who were in that situation. Not one of them ended up being happy about it.
And, since then, I have gotten more than a few emails from readers who claim to be females in their teens, and who tell me very interesting and intimate things about their sex lives. They also sometimes say they think it would be fun to have my baby. It’s often difficult to determine if those girls are embellishing things or not. Boys write too, but they almost always lie. They say things like they got both their sisters pregnant, and then three aunts and their mother too – twice.
See what I mean about the lying part?
So, since I now know that people who shouldn’t be reading my stories are reading my stories, this treatise is for all of you kids out there.
First off, don’t frown like that. You are a kid. You may feel all grown up, but you’re not. You may want to be all grown up, but you’re not. You may think you have it all figured out, but you don’t.
How do I know?
Easy. Most of us grownups haven’t figured it out yet either. Why do you think there is so much divorce out there? You think it’s because the adults are just too picky?
The fact is that complex interpersonal relationships are difficult, and fraught with danger. Just look at your own best friend. Do things always go perfect for the two of you? Of course not. In fact, you’ve probably had more than one “best friend”. And you’re not fucking your best friend. At least I hope you’re not.
And don’t yell at me for using bad words. You’re the ones who decided you were old enough to access an adult site, and I know you’re familiar with the language.
What you’re not familiar with are the complexities of human interaction on the level where good sex takes place.
How do I know?
Easy. Most adults aren’t there yet either. Why do you think sex causes so many problems among the adult population?
There’s another reason, though, and it’s only fair that you know it. Over the last few years they’ve done a lot of research into how the brain works, and they found out that the development of the prefrontal cortex in the brain isn’t complete until roughly age 21. The prefrontal cortex is one of those “higher order” brain centres, that you use when you reason and solve problems.
So until you’re 21, if you’re solving problems or reasoning something out, it’s quite likely that you’re trying to use a butter knife as a screwdriver, or a rock as a hammer. Why do you think Jackass is so successful? Almost anybody can look at those stunts and know “That was about stupid.” And yet those people actually thought they could pull that shit off and everything would be fine! Their reasoning was flawed. See what I mean?
Another function of the prefrontal cortex is to enable you to have successful complex interpersonal relationships … such as sexual relationships.
I’m not talking about wham, bam, thank you ma’am relationships. That’s just fucking. Anybody can do that. Animals do it all the time. But it doesn’t mean anything. Casual, meaningless sex is nothing more than complicated masturbation. It’s just feeling good. Heroin feels good too. Is using heroin a good idea? Even without a fully developed prefrontal cortex you should be able to reason out that anything that kills you probably isn’t the best course of action to go for. And yet thousands of kids choose to engage in behaviour just as risky, including sex that can be just fucking miserable.
So, you say… “How am I supposed to figure this out, if I can’t explore and experience things?”
Here’s a tip for you: Talk to your parents.
That’s right. I knoe in India we barely talk about sex in public. Yet we are the largest consumers of porn. I mean those two (hopefully,) clueless (probably) adults who strained and sweated and anguished over you as you came to the conclusion that the world revolves around you instead of the sun. I’m talking about the people who sacrificed what they wanted, for your benefit. Hopefully I’m talking about the people in your life who haven’t abused you. They’re the ones who are scared to death that something bad will happen to you. They’ve been living with that fear for years, and they know they’ll be living with that fear for the rest of their lives.
“But they’re clueless!” you gasp. “Nobody talks to their parents about … sex!”
Wait! Think about that! Could we have possibly stumbled upon a key factor as to why nobody ever seems to be able to make this sex thing work out? Is it possible that the people who have the most experience with the issue at hand, aren’t being asked to share that expertise? Hmmmm.
What would the world be like if parents educated their own kids about the pitfalls of relationships? What if, as they filed their divorce papers, they explained to the kids exactly what went wrong … how the love died … how maybe it wasn’t there in the first place … how, quite possibly, it was all about lust and sex when they started things up, and maybe not about love at all!
What if a girl was actually able to go to her mother and say “Mom, I’m really interested in this sex thing, and I think I want to try it. You’ve done that a lot. Got any pointers for me?”
No, that wouldn’t work. There’s no way a mother might actually be able to help her daughter understand the feelings inside of her, and how to deal with them. It’s not like she ever felt the same way, or had the same fears, worries and hopes. After all, Mom only had sex that one time … right? That’s why you’re there. But she and Dad don’t actually do the bump ugly any more. Ewwwww!
Look, kids. You’re not stupid, no matter what the test results from No Child Left Behind say. You know full well that your parents have taught you a hell of a lot about life already. You watched them, and you saw them make mistakes. They made a lot more of them long before you were born, and most of them learned from those mistakes. If you don’t talk to them about sex, you’re wasting a very precious resource that could make your life a great deal easier in the years to come.
“But they won’t talk to me about sex!” you say.
You’re probably right. Not at first, anyway. But I guarantee you that if you walk up to Mom and say something like “I really like the AISS guy, and I’m thinking he should be the guy to get my cherry,” you’ll get a dialogue going.
For you guys, just sit down beside dad one night when he turns the TV on and say something like “I have a date with Sherry coming up, and she promised she’d graduate from hand jobs to the real deal. But I don’t know which condoms are the best. So what do you recommend?” I promise you, he’ll at least mute the TV.
Yes, there will be some screaming and yelling at first. Yes, the law will be laid down, initially. But, if you approach it like the adult you think you are, and demand that they both teach you about the mistakes they made in their love lives… are making in their love lives … eventually you’ll wear them down. Once the dialogue actually gets past the “I’m your Mother – that’s why” stage, you might find out things that will save you from having to file all that nasty divorce paperwork some day in the future.
Don’t try to learn about sexual relationships from stories by people like me. We’re dreaming. It’s all fantasy, for most of us. And the ones who swear it’s all true, and that everybody else should do what they did too are just those of us who are several bricks shy of a load.
But you are not living a fantasy. Your dreams should be of the future, not simply what you’re feeling right now. Your life is real, and you can fuck it up royally if you make the wrong decisions right now and get involved in having sex right now.
How do I know?
Just look around. How many fucked up adults do you see around you?
Talk to them. Find out what happened, so it won’t happen to you.
One more thing. For those girls out there who think a baby will solve a problem, or be “cool” … It’s like this. Babies create problems, they don’t solve them. And is it cool if you can’t go anywhere or do anything because you have to take care of the baby? It doesn’t require love to make a baby, so why do you think having one will make somebody love you?
Life is precious, and a baby deserves a committed mother and father, who will raise that child in an atmosphere of love and respect. Your uncle isn’t the best man to do that with. Neither is your brother. Your father’s already taken, and if he’s not, there’s a reason. When you actually find that man, and fall in love with him, and are in a stable, committed relationship, then you can fantasize whatever you like as you go about creating new, precious life. Don’t waste that on some guy who’s just trying to follow his biological urge to scatter his seed around before he scatters some more with some other chick.
Now here’s the good part … the stuff you decided to read this for … the part about how to have great, hot, satisfying, amazing, mind blowing sex.
The key to being completely comfortable in a sexual relationship is knowing your partner so well you trust them completely. You know that person so well you can ask questions like “Have you ever stuck anything up your butt?” and they won’t bat an eye. That’s it in a nut shell. People who know each other that well can talk about anything, try anything and almost always it will be fantastic for both of them. Ask them.
“But I don’t know who to ask,” you complain.
Guess what? We’re back to your parents! Your mother knows what drives her crazy in bed. Your dad knows what he likes his lover to do more than anything else. Both of them are probably proud of something they can do that blows their lover away. Will they tell you all about that now, while you’re in Jr. high school? Will they tell you when you’re in high school even? Of course not. That’s because you’re young enough that doing that right now is unwise. You don’t know anybody well enough to try this stuff with. You won’t know anybody well enough until you spend hours and days and weeks and months getting to know them. You can’t know somebody that well after only a few dates.
But what your parents might be willing to do is make an appointment for the day you turn 18 (or maybe whatever the age of consent is in your state) to sit down with you and give you some pointers. Will they look forward to it? Hell no. They’ll be scared shitless, just thinking about it. They won’t want to talk about those things. They’ll say it’s private and personal. So is hygiene, and they taught you that, didn’t they?
The point is that, if you want to learn the really good stuff, you have to mine the sources where it lies. And I’m not talking about Penthouse Forum, or anything else that costs money to obtain. If you have to pay for it, it’s probably worthless. But there is another source. That is your parents, at least until you’re old enough to strike up the kind of friendships with people where you can ask them stuff like that. And if your parents resist, remind them it’s their job to help you do better than they did, and that nowhere in the parent manual does it have an exemption for helping you understand what makes for good sex between consenting adults, when you’re on the cusp of being considered an adult by law. And if they still refuse, then tell them there’s this nice old guy down at the park who offered to teach you everything you ever wanted to know about sex. You may have to drag them kicking and screaming into the family room, but that is the place for you to learn the tools to make your eventual sex life great, and the pitfalls to look out for.
It’s really quite simple when you think about it. Who do you get football advice from? The coach. Who do you get acting advice from? The director. Who do you get welding advice from? A welder. Who do you get advice on raising chickens from? A chicken farmer.
Now who do you get good advice from about how to have great sex?
Well, just about everybody has sex, but that doesn’t mean they have good sex, and even if they do, it’s pretty rare to just be able to go up to somebody and ask them for advice on things sexual. It’s the culture we live in that makes that so hard. It’s also what makes it hard for your parents, but you at least have a chance at cracking that box of parental wisdom open.
And if you just can’t force yourself to approach your parents for this desperately needed advice, then try this: Print this off and hand it to them. Say something like “I thought this was interesting. Read it over. I’d kind of like to hear what you think about it.” Then wait a day or two (while they get over the panic attack.) and come back to them and make them give you their opinion.
So there you go. Now that you’ve read this, I don’t expect to see you back again until after you’re an adult. If you’re wondering when that is … you’ll know when you get there because that’s when you begin to realize how clueless you actually are.
And, for any parents out there who decided to see what I was telling your kids:
Talk to them. Tell them about your mistakes, and what you learned from them. Sex is not a taboo subject for you to talk about with your children. Help them work through what they’re feeling. Help them differentiate between fantasy and reality.
Remember what it was like trying to figure sex out when you first got into it, or got married? It could be really awful sometimes, couldn’t it? Has it caused problems in your marriage? Of course it has. Do you want your kids to go through the same thing?
What more precious gift could you give your child than, the night before the wedding, sitting down and going into real detail on how to do it right, and what not to do, because it causes hurt feelings or whatever?
I shouldn’t have to tell you not to “help” them like happens in my fantasies, and the stories I write. But I will, because your parents didn’t talk to you about sex either, and maybe you’re still a little confused.
Best of luck to all of you. More importantly, best of education and skill.