I wound my way up the hilly terrain leading to Penn State University. I’d made this drive a number of times in the last year. Maybe I hadn’t made it enough.
I had been summoned–there’s no other word for it. Michaela, my girlfriend, had called me earlier in the week and just about demanded I come up for the weekend. “Ian, you’d better get up here! Now!” She mentioned something about Halloween parties and such, but there was another undercurrent to her entreaties. I wondered if this was it. You know, it. The end.
We’d been together since junior year in high school. Now we were just into our sophomore years in college. The problem was, we didn’t go to the same college. She, of course, went to Penn State. I went to Georgetown. On a map, they almost look close. Yeah, right. You don’t know how fucking big the state of Pennsylvania is until you have to drive through half of it to get to your sweetie. And that’s after going through Maryland.
Last year, our freshman year, had been–well, OK. We got through it. And the summer, back together in our hometown, had been marvelous. But, this year–look, Georgetown is a ballbuster of a school, and Penn State isn’t much better. Schoolwork swallowed our time. We hadn’t seen each other at all since school started, and that was almost two months now. We IM’ed and talked on the phone, of course, but that wasn’t the same–and our conversations as of late had been strained.
Look, there was no question how I felt about her–I loved her. She loved me, too. But long distance relationships suck. Especially at college, because–well, you want to talk about pressure? I got untolds amount of shit from my buddies for being loyal to a girl a couple hundred miles away. I’m sure she got the same. And, watching my buddies pair up with girls at school … I don’t mind telling you, it wasn’t easy. It couldn’t have been easy for her, either.
So, she demanded my presence on campus for the weekend of Halloween. I cleared my decks on the schoolwork front and, on Friday afternoon, headed up there. I couldn’t tell, and she wouldn’t say over the phone, if this was a rejuvenation attempt or a break-up. As I said, we loved each other–but neither of us were happy. So, as I entered the campus to confront the girl I’d been in love with for three years, I had no idea what was going to happen.
Damn it, where was he??
It was 3:30 in the afternoon and Ian still wasn’t here. Christ, I know it’s not the easiest drive from Georgetown, but I really needed to see him. It had been two months since the last time we’d been together and I was completely frustrated.
Have you ever tried to have phone sex with your roommate listening in? Or the damn door bursting open at exactly the wrong moment? GRRRRR. Not at all like the real thing. When Ian and I are together it’s fabulous, but apart, well– it leaves a lot to be desired. I needed time with my boyfriend and I needed it now.
Do you know how hard it is to be faithful to someone who isn’t there when everyone around you is paired up? It sucks. It wasn’t just the sex, which was always exquisite– it was the little things. Stupid stuff like holding hands at the movies, sitting cuddled up on the couch, teasing him about his knobby knees– all the things that don’t work when you can’t be together. But that wasn’t the worst part.
The worst part is loving someone you can’t be with and finding yourself attracted to someone else.
His name was Greg and he lived across the hall. He was smart and funny and sweet. We’ve been spending time together as friends but more and more I found myself wondering what it would be like to kiss him.
Greg knew about Ian. How could he not? I talk about him all the time. Greg asked me to do the round of parties with him on Halloween, just to get out of the dorms, no pressure.
I knew there was more to it than that. I could feel the attraction running between us. If I went with him, something was going to happen. So I did the only thing I could– I said no. Then I called my boyfriend and demanded a little attention. Things were quickly reaching a breaking point. Ian and I needed time together before it was too late.
Damn it– where the hell was he?
I pulled up to her dorm shortly before 4. Traffic on 83 had been murder. I got to the front desk and they called up to her room, she told them to send me up. I got off the elevator and there she was, waiting for me, in the doorway to her room.
“It’s about time,” she muttered.
“Hello to you too,” I said with an impish grin.
She sighed. “Look I’m sorry okay, but it’s been forever.”
“For me too. You weren’t the one that just spent 45 minutes stuck in construction in Harrisburg.”
“I said I was sorry. Can I have a kiss now?”
“You bet you can,” I chuckled, and leaned down to kiss her.
She sighed after we broke the kiss. “I really needed that.” She snuggled close into me as we walked trough the door into her room. “I’ve missed you so much.”
“I’ve missed you, too. This is tough on me. I know it’s tough on you, too.”
We moved over to her bed. She looked up at me, a single tear tracing down her cheek. “I can’t take this Ian– it’s too hard.”
“It’s hard for me, too, honey. I wanted to get up here before this, it was just impossible.”
“I know Ian but I can’t stand this. I need you so much. I hate not being with you.”
“I don’t know what to tell you.” I smiled slightly at her, though it was a bit strained. “I knew I was coming up here for this conversation. Our last couple times on the phone, I could tell you were frustrated.”
“Frustrated, upset, lonely– horny. I need to talk to you babe, but right now I just want to hold you.”
“I can relate. To all of those.” I took her into my arms and lay down on her bed, just cuddling her. “Like I said, this isn’t easy for me, either.” I laughed. “My roommate has a girlfriend. She’s great, they’re great together, but I have to sit there and watch all that kissy-face.”
“Yeah, it sucks.”
“Don’t get me wrong, I’m happy for them, but…”
“It’s the same way around here and it just makes me miss you more.”
“I’ve missed you, too, Michaela.” I moved my hands to her breasts. “Goodness knows I’ve missed these,” I grinned.
“Shut up and kiss me,” she groaned. I was glad to do that! Our lips ground into one another as my hands roamed over her boobs. Her tongue slipped into my mouth and sought out mine. I reached for the waistband of her shirt and disconnected from her lips long enough to slip it over her head. Bless her, she wasn’t wearing a bra. I cupped her boobs in my hands as we continued to kiss.
She quickly reached down to my belt buckle and began prying it apart. I got the hint and helped her, and quickly afterwards went for her pants. My shirt got shucked somewhere in there, too. When we were both naked, I kissed down from her lips and started sucking on her nipples.
“Oh, God, I can’t take any more! Please, Ian, make love to me! Now!” she hissed. I moved back up along her, kissed her again, and aimed my dick at her pussy. I slid right in and she groaned as I hit bottom.
“Oh, so long, it’s been so long,” she murmured. I could only agree and, as I moved steadily in and out of her, I was a bit worried. It’d been so long I hoped I didn’t blast off in half a second. Listening to the delightful noises Michaela always made during sex-kind of an alternating series of groans and squeaks, with the odd yelp when I hit her just right-didn’t help me keep under control. I managed though, helped by the fact that she really was very pent up. In almost no time at all, she yelped and spasmed, gripping my shoulders. Shortly thereafter I poured myself into her.
“Oh, man,” she said, cuddling with me in the aftermath, “I needed that so badly.”
“That makes two of us,” I grinned.
Sex is wonderful. Sex with Ian went right beyond wonderful and straight into nirvana.
I cuddled up next to him and rested my head on his chest. I could hear his heart beating in time with my own as his hand lazily stroked my hair. This is what I missed; the closeness, the contentment. I could lay here with Ian forever and to hell with the rest of the world.
I sighed and reached down to idly stroke his limp cock. I knew I would have to tell him about Greg, but not yet. For right now I wanted to forget the loneliness and enjoy the time we had together.
“Hey, you keep that up and I’m gonna get hard again.”
Ian’s cock began to twitch under my fingers, slowly inflating to half-mast. I turned to grin at him, pressing my breasts against his chest.
“Oh goody, I was hoping you would.”
I licked my lips lasciviously and moved down between his legs. I took his rapidly inflating cock in my hand and guided it to my mouth, keeping my eyes locked on his. Slowly I slid him into my warm, wet mouth, tonguing our combined juices from his glans. Ian hissed as I slid his cock into my mouth, his eyes glazed over with desire and lust.
“Michaela, baby, ohshit that feels so good!”
I loved watching his face as I worked over his cock. Sucking him long and hard, bobbing up and down on his shaft– I could tell from the look on his face that he close. He reached down and tangled his hands in my long, curly hair and I worked my tongue over his shaft. His cock went rock hard in my mouth.
Ian groaned his pet name for me as he came, spurting hot bursts of liquid into my mouth. I stroked him with my hand as I swallowed his load, keeping him coming for as long as possible. With a satisfied smile, I cleaned his cock and snuggled up against him again; delighting in the sight of him limp, drained, and gasping.
“Did you like that, Ian?” I wasn’t above teasing him just a little.
“Minx! C’mere, it’s your turn.”
A quick glance at the clock told me we didn’t have time.
“Can’t babe, Lori will back from class any minute now. We need to get cleaned up and have some dinner soon if we’re going to the party tonight.”
Ian grumbled good-naturedly as I dragged him out of bed and into the bathroom. After a quick shower, we headed out to dinner with my roommate Lori and her boyfriend, Chris. Ian had already met them both, so dinner was comfortable as we talked and planned the evening. It was so nice to have Ian next to me, holding my hand, whispering in my ear. I couldn’t do without this for another two and a half years. Tomorrow, I thought, we’ll talk about it tomorrow.
Right now, we had a party to attend–a party that I was sure would include Greg.
We went to a frat party at a friend of hers’ frat house. Though it was Halloween, costumes were optional–and, since my coming up here was so last-minute, we didn’t bother. That was fine. Lots of other people didn’t bother either, including Michaela’s roomie Lori and her boyfriend Chris. So, it was cool.
It was a good party. Good music, plenty of booze if you wanted it, lots of people. Michaela introduced me around. We ended up claiming a loveseat, cuddling one another and sipping on a beer.
Suddenly, this guy I hadn’t met before came over. “Hey, Michaela! Glad you made it after all!”
“Hi, Greg. I’d like you to meet my boyfriend Ian.” He looked over, and shook my hand, but it was plain to me he was not happy to meet Michaela’s boyfriend Ian. We exchanged pleasantries for a bit, then he took off–with remarkable haste, as far as I could tell.
As I said, I’d never met this Greg guy. I’m not sure I liked what I saw. Not realizing I said it out loud, I muttered, “There goes a shark if I ever saw one.” Michaela heard me.
“What do you mean, a shark? Greg’s a nice guy. He’s my friend.”
“Yup, a shark,” I grinned, “and he looked at you as if you were a particularly tasty piece of bait.”
“He did NOT!” she hissed
“Ella, what am I, stupid? Come on. He saw you, and he lit up like a Christmas tree. You introduced him to me and his face fell three flights of stairs. It was obvious. Hey–don’t worry about it. I trust you completely. I’m not worried or upset. But that guy has the hots for you something fierce.”
That’s when she exploded. “Well, you know what, Ian? The feeling’s mutual. I love you and I’m not about to cheat on you, but that ‘shark’ is here and you aren’t. He makes me laugh. He keeps me company when I’m feeling sad. He listens to me ramble on about you for hours on end. He’s been a great friend who’s always there when I need him. If I need you, I have to be a bitch and demand that you visit me. Do you know how that makes me feel?”
I was absolutely flabbergasted. I just sat there, staring at her, for a full minute. To be honest, the thing that kept reverberating in my mind was ‘the feeling’s mutual.’ Damn, damn, damn. But I held that little tidbit off for a bit. I tried to keep calm when I finally did speak.
“First of all, you don’t have a car, so it’s my responsibility to come here all the time, which is a burden on me. Second of all, I am pre-law at Georgetown! Do you have any idea how hard that is? It’s not that I don’t want to be here more often. It’s that I can’t, unless you want me to flunk out of school. I have an exam in International Relations on Tuesday that’s going to be a ballbuster. I hope I studied enough for it before I left to come here.” I took a breath. “I do the best I can. Obviously, that’s not good enough,” I said sadly.
Her expression softened. “I know you’re doing the best you can, Ian, and I know how hard school is on you. I’m not saying it’s all your fault. I could take the bus to Georgetown if I ever had the money for a ticket. It just isn’t in my budget. You’re not the only one with a tough schedule, I’m an engineering major fer chissakes. I don’t know what the solution is Ian– I just know we can’t survive another 2 and half years like this.”
I took a deep breath. “You mean, you can’t.”
She looked into my eyes and said softly, “You’re right. I can’t.”
I looked away. I couldn’t look at her–not when I was seeing all my hopes, all my dreams, implode in my face. “So, what, Ella? This is it, then?”
“Yes. No. I don’t know. I’m so confused Ian. I love you, I do–but I like Greg too. I don’t know what I want. Can we just think about for now and talk about it again tomorrow? Maybe we can come up with some way to save this.”
“I don’t think so,” I said, getting angry. “Do you know who my closest female friend at school is? Kylie, Brian’s girlfriend.” Brian was my roommate. “Kylie keeps me safe. She also thinks that you and I being faithful to one another is the most romantic thing ever, so she runs interference for me. Every girl that she comes into contact with knows I’m taken. If I don’t make sure of that, Kylie does.” I took a deep breath. “That’s how I handle the separation–by keeping temptation away.
You cultivate sharks.” I got up to leave.
I stopped. “Wait for what? To drag this out longer?” I said that, but I stayed where I was, looking at her.
“If that’s the way you feel you might as well go.”
“It’s not the way I feel. The way I feel is I want to run over there, grab you, and never let go. But I can’t help but also feel that this would just be postponing the inevitable.”
“Damn it Ian, I don’t want to lose you! I want to talk about options and you want to walk out. If you think you’re postponing the inevitable then it’s too late already.”
“I guess it’s just that I don’t see any options. You’re here. I’m there. For two and a half more years. What options do we have?”
“I’ve been thinking about transferring to Georgetown. I can get an engineering degree anywhere but you need to be at Georgetown for law. I’ve been thinking about it for a while but things have been so miserable between us lately, that I didn’t think there was any point.”
I was absolutely stunned. “You’d do that? You’ve wanted to go to Penn State since you were seven years old!”
“I’d rather have you.”
Flabbergasted. I was completely flabbergasted. When we’d had this argument senior year in high school, she was adamant about going to Penn State. I walked back over to her and took her in my arms. “It’s up to you, but I’d be thrilled.” Then I thought of something. “Uhm, Ella, how are your grades?”
“4.0 – I knew I had to be good to get into Georgetown.”
“Uh-huh,” I grinned. “Yeah, I think Georgetown would take you with that.”
“Let’s get out of here. I think we need some time alone”
“My mother always told me to never argue with a lady carrying a 4.0.”
We walked out, arm-in-arm, stopping to get our coats. “You know you probably won’t be able to do this until next year, right?”
“Yeah. A semester and a half is better than two and a half years. And Thanksgiving’s only a month away, then Christmas, so it won’t be so bad. And Spring Break is in the middle of second semester, which helps.”
Suddenly she stopped talking. I started to say something, but she hissed, “SHHHH!”
I looked at her, and realized she was listening to something. I heard voices coming from around the corner.
“So, that’s her boyfriend?” a voice I didn’t know asked.
“For the moment,” another voice snickered. “Did you hear them going at it?” That voice I did recognize. It was that Greg guy. “That’s a breakup waiting to happen,” the voice said.
“And you’ll be there to pick up the pieces,” the first voice chuckled.
“Yup, and move in for the kill. I’ve been worming my way into that girl’s affections for two months. Trust me, she’s mine. As soon as Ian-boy gets out of the way–which should happen this weekend–I am in Michaela’s pants.”
Ella turned to me, a look of absolute fury in her eyes. I wasn’t the object of her fury, however. “Darling?” she said. “The next time you tell me about sharks, remind me to listen to you, OK?”
“Of course,” I chuckled. She smiled at me, then spun away from me–headed around the corner, towards the voices. I followed.
“So,” she said to Greg’s back. “You’re going to get into my pants, huh?”
Greg spun around, shock on his face. “MICHAELA! I … well…”
“Let me just warn you,” she interrupted, “if you plan to do that, your time is short. You see, I’m transferring. To Georgetown. To be with the man I love–otherwise known as the only man I sleep with. So, Greg, you’ve got your work cut out for you. Because, not only am I going to tell you ‘no fucking way, ‘ but then I’m leaving. I made my choice. It’s a pity that I didn’t know what you were really like before this. The choice would’ve been easier.”
She turned to me with an evil grin. “Come on, handsome. Let’s go back to my room so you can fuck my brains out. Again.”
I grinned back and, arm in arm, we walked out into the night.